I Don't Like Your Girlham!
by Crystalgurl101
Summary: Stan has finally gotten a girlfriend! But how will the Ham Hams react? How will Crystal and Sandy take the news? And is this girl REALLY as charming as she looks? R&R PLZ. Romantic comedy. Rating may go up later on. Chp. 4 FINALLY updated!
1. How It All Began

I Don't Like Your Girlham!

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**A/N****: I just literally thought this story up! It's inspired basically by Avril's imfamous song "Girlfriend." I would've named it "Girlfriend," but that title's taken! coughcoughMoonshine101coughsorethroat! (It's okay! I still love you!) Here's "I Don't Like Your Girlham!" Dedicated to the (howdoIsaythisnicely?) Flora...not-likers...of the world. And I know who they are! **

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**Summary: Stan, the Ham-Ham Flirt has finally found a girlham! But how will the Ham-Hams react? How will Sandy and Crystal take the news? And! Is this girl** really **as charming as she looks? **

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Chapter 1: Hey Hey, You You!

_**What started out as an ordinary day turned into probably one of those dramatic life-changing days.**_

_**That's what I thought when I met Stan's girlfriend. **_

_**My name is Crystal, and this is my story. **_

**(\/)(")(")  
****_--CRYSTAL'S POV--_**

I looked out the window and saw Katrina to my right getting in her mom's car. They eventually backed away from the driveway and drove off. I then looked to my left. And groaned. "He's not here--AGAIN!" I said to myself as I hopped off the windowsill.

For those of you who are confused, lemme care to explain. My name is Crystal and I'm best friends with a guy named Stan. Every morning, we walk together to our hangout, the Ham Ham Clubhouse. We have **alot **of friends there. We go on adventures every day and have tons of fun hanging out. But sometimes, we get the wits scared out of us from some of the things we do. But hey, life is short! Why not live it?

But there's a sliiiiiiight problem. Hmm...how do I say this in a way you can all understand? ...Ah-ha!

Stan the Jackass has been ditching us!

He won't show up at my house to pick me up. He's rarely at the Clubhouse. And when he **is** in there, all he does is cling to his phone like grass stains on his fur and then leaves super-early. He won't return my calls. Or my text messages. Or my voicemails. Or the letter-in-the-bottles I've been constantly throwing at him(no, not to him, **at** him). Not to mention he hasn't been teasing the Ham-couples, or bugging the boys, or flirting with the girls, or starting a riot. And when he's not doing any of the above, then you **know** something's screwed loose in his head.

When I walked outside, my neighbor Bijou and my two guyfriends Hamtaro and Oxnard were waiting for me nearby. "Stan deedn't show up?" Bijou was french so she had a bit of an accent. It drove the boys crazy. "Again?" Hamtaro and Oxy were best buds and neighbors as well. They sometimes tended to speak in Twin, like Stan and his sister Sandy.

"Correct!" I sulked as we walked down the sidewalk. "I swear, this is starting to worry me. Do you think Stan is losing his memory?" I've been thinking up alot of explanations to Stan's wierd behavior. "That could explain why he's basically **forgetting **us!"

"Maybe. But then what explains his obsession with modern technology?" Hamtaro cocked an eyebrow. I shrugged. He had a point. "What if...what if he has a space?" Oxnard suggested. "A what?" I stared at him. "Well, the other day Kana was chatting with Laura on the computer box and she said she was on, and I quote, 'my space.' Do you think Stan might've gotten one of those spaces?" Oxnard explained.

"Interesting zhought." Bijou couldn't help but agree. "But do zhey even have one of zhose for hamsters?" Hamtaro shrugged. "Who knows! Maybe he disguised himself as a human! You know, humans'll believe anything we tell them on the computer cause they can't see us!" he said.

"True, but what if they were to catch him through their fancy webcams...?" I wondered. "A what?" Hamtaro asked. This convo went on for the whole walk.

**(\/)(")(")  
**_**--NORMAL POV--**_

By the time they reached the Clubhouse, Pashmina, and Howdy, Penelope and Dexter were all pacing around the entrance. "Hey guys!" Hamtaro's cheerful voice made them all jump. Pashmina took one look at Crystal and turned pale. "Crystal! Yo-Y-You're h-here?" she squeaked.

Crystal nodded slowly. "Aaaand why wouldn't I be?" she said. "I can think of **one **good reason!" Howdy mumbled to himself. "Huh?" Crystal and Bijou had heard it loud and clear though. Pashmina nudged him. "Shush!" Dexter hissed.

"Uhh, what's going on?" Oxnard asked. "Okyoo!" Penelope answered. "Are you sure nothing's going on?" Crystal looked at her sweetly. She as well as the others were always extra-gentle with the baby Ham-Ham. Penelope was about to answer when Cappy popped out from the tree entrance.

"Is she here ye--CRYSTAL!" Crystal smiled at him. "H-How're you d-d...okay bye!" Cappy quickly turned and ran for it. "Cappy?" Bijou called behind him. "Okay, you're all acting wierd again. What happened **this **time?" Crystal sighed. "..." Howdy and Dexter just looked at each other.

"Okay, something **might've **happened." Pashmina confessed. "Well, what's wrong?" Oxnard asked. "Oh no, not zee earthworms again!" Bijou shuddered. "Don't tell me the Clubhouse lights went out!" Hamtaro frowned.

"No. Worse." Pashmina shook her head.

"Oh God...Snoozer died!" Crystal gasped. "WHAT?! NOOOO!" Pashmina exclaimed and shook her head furiously, as if the thought was insane. "Well, what else could've gone wrong?" Crystal shrugged. "Maybe we can help!" Hamtaro suggested. "Right." Crystal, Oxnard and Bijou nodded in agreement.

"NO!" Pashmina, Howdy and Dexter screamed. It was too late. The group had already raced into the tunnels on all fours at top speed. "Dang-nabbit!" Howdy swore. "We should've told them the flood story." Dexter's ears drooped. Pashmina sighed and nodded in agreement.

**(\/)(")(")**

Hamtaro entered first. "Hey guys!" he rushed in. "What's wrong?" Bijou looked worried as she followed Hamtaro. "We're here to help." Oxnard added. Crystal was last to enter. "Oh God!" Boss gasped when he saw Crystal. "Boss, what's the matter? Pashy and the boys outside looked freaked-out outside." the little brown-and-white hamster wondered.

Then Bijou took notice of the scene. Boss, Cappy, Panda, Maxwell and even Jingle were all crowded around the round table. They seemed to be hiding something. "Uhh...what are you all hiding?" she spoke up. "SHH!" the boys shushed her. "Yeah, what's the secret?" Hamtaro nodded.

They were all quiet, until Panda cleared his throat. "Crystal...do you remember how you left your phone at the Clubhouse last night?" he said. "Yeah?" Crystal nodded. "Well...this morning, we were all goofing off for a while, and it kinda...take a look for yourself."

The boys seperated and Crystal, Hamtaro, Bijou and Oxnard gaped at the scene. Crystal's hot-pink Ham-Ham cellphone was broken into a million pieces. Wires, chips and hot-pink cover pieces were everywhere. Bijou gasped. Hamtaro and Oxnard's jaw dropped. "Whoa..." Crystal's eyes widened.

"W-We know this looks bad, but Panda is working on it RIGHT now!" Boss quickly tried to reassure her. Crystal stared at her cellphone, speechless. "You guys, what happened?" Hamtaro asked, still slightly dazed. The four boys looked at each other. "Weeeellllll..."

**(\/)(")(")  
**_**FLASHBACK!**_

KABOOM!

**"EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**

Cappy went flying out of Panda's new Ham-Ham Extreme Stunts Mini Cannonball. He was wearing a black helmet and a huge smile on his face. He suddenly slammed onto the matted wall on the other side of the Clubhouse headfirst and slid down to the blue ham-sized pillow waiting for him on the floor.

**"EXTREEEEEEEEEME!"** Boss, Howdy and Panda laughed and high-fived each other. Jingle, who was in the corner playing his guitar, smiled at the boys and their silly game. They had invited him to join them, but he knew better than to risk his life on an experiment. Maxwell was reading nearby at the table. Dexter was at the cannonball controls.

"You guys, isn't that a little...dangerous?" Pashmina approached the boys from behind with Penelope by her side. She looked up worriedly at the cannonball. "Oh, no need to worry Pash. I made sure this thing is 100 percent safe." Panda patted her on the shoulder reassuringly. "By using Cappy as a guinea pig?!" Pashmina folded her arms across her chest. "He volunteered to be the guinea pig!" Panda defended himself.

"If it makes you feel better, I'll get on it now." Howdy shrugged innocently. This made Dexter's ears perk up. "You will?" Pashmina lit up. "Sure! I've been dyin' to get on that thing anyways!" Howdy smiled and nodded.

"Now wait just a darn--mpffmfmffmmm!" Dexter was completely cut off by Jingle, who stuffed a pillow in his mouth. "You two have made enough noise for one morning." he frowned, an angry vein pounding in his forehead.

"Okay!" Howdy said a few moments later. He was sitting happily on the cannonball entrance with the helmet strapped securely on his head. "Leddirip!" Dexter, who was glaring at Howdy's every move, smirked evilly. "Sure thing, pal!" Using the controls, Dexter pumped up the extreme level from 3 to 11 and shifted the target slightly to the left.

KABOOM!

Before he knew it, Howdy went flying out of the cannonball.

**"EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE--!"** he screamed. But before he could finish, Howdy had suddenly zipped past the wall and crashed into the hall closet nearby--and hard too.

"HOWDY!" the Ham-Hams cried. "Whoa!" Boss blurted out. "Ohmygod!" Pashmina gasped. Howdy landed on his back. His eyes were replaced with anime swirls. He groaned, numb with pain. Pashmina was the first to approach the closet door. "Howdy, are you alright?" she asked worriedly.

"I..._cough_...I-I think so." Howdy rose to his feet, and felt something poke his stomach. "Ow! But I think I landed on something." When he turned around, the Ham-Hams gasped. Howdy took off his helmet. "What?" When he looked down at his stomach, he gulped as he found Crystal's forgotten cellphone in a million pieces, sticking to his fur.

Everyone's jaws dropped to the floor. Crystal was very fond of her new phone. Seeing it clinging to Howdy's fur like that wouldn't exactly please a short-tempered person like her. "Oooooooooooh, you guys are in troubllllllllllllleeeee!" Cappy suddenly pointed at Howdy. "Okyoooooooooooh!" Penelope copied him.

**(\/)(")(")  
**_**FLASHBACK ENDS!**_

"But it was all an accident!" Jingle finished. "And I swear, I'll pay your bills for the next three months--JUST DON'T KILL MEEEEEEEEE!" Howdy, who had already entered the Clubhouse with Dexter, Pashmina and Penelope, pleaded as he got down on his knees and held Crystal by her waist. "But if you do, take it outside. We have children." Dexter smiled as he hugged Penelope.

"Guys, relax! It's okay." Crystal said as she tried to pull Howdy off of her. "PLEASE CRYS! I LOVE MAH' BACKGROUND AN' ALL, BUT I'M WILLING TO BEG--wait, what?" Howdy looked up at her. "Wait, **what?!**" Dexter exclaimed.

"Guys! It's okay! I mean, it was an accident. Panda can always just fix it. Just like how you guys dropped Boss' phone in the river while he was away that one time and Panda fixed up a new one before he got back." Crystal told them. "You did WHAT?!" Boss' eyes widened.

Everyone backed away. "Oops..." Crystal blushed.

Just then, the Clubhouse door opened again. The gang turned around. Stan walked in, a bright smile on his face. Crystal's eyes widened. "Stan!" she cried out. "Well, it's about time you got here. Where have you been, kid?!" Boss asked rather sternly. "So much for peace all week." Pashmina whispered to Bijou.

"Sorry for the long absence." Stan closed the door. "I hope I didn't cause **that **big of a depression." Stan then winked at Bijou and Pashmina, who frowned disapprovingly. "So ladies! How have you two been--"

Crystal stepped in between him and the girls protectively. "So Stan! Tell us! How **have **you been?" she said. "Uh-oh, I don't like that tone." Stan smirked. Crystal folded her arms across her chest. "You're mad, aren't ya'?" Stan guessed. "Ya' think?!" Crystal glared at him.

"Okay look. I know I haven't been in touch lately, but I have a very important reason on why!" Stan said. Hamtaro opened his mouth to respond. "And that would beeee...?" Crystal cut him off. Stan was ready to open his mouth too, when suddenly the door reopened.

"Stanny-kins! Can I come in now?" a pretty light-brown and white hamster with a white nurse-like hat on her head poked her head inside. Her big baby-blue eyes blinked innocently at Stan. She then noticed who else was in the room and smiled sweetly.

Stan froze and closed his eyes as if to say "I'm **so **busted!" Crystal rose an eyebrow at the girl. _Stanny-kins?_ "Who's she?" Cappy asked out loud. "Cappy!" Pashmina scolded. "Guys..." Stan took a deep breath. He walked over to the girl and held her paw. He led her to the middle of the room. "...I...I-I'd like you to meet my girlham, Flora."

"Hi guys!" Flora waved politely at the infamous Ham-Ham gang her boyham had been talking about so much.

The Ham-Hams' jaws all dropped and hung there. Crystal's eyes were ready to pop out of her head. "G...G-Gir-G...G-Girlham?" she and the Ham-Hams all stuttered out. She felt numb at the sound of the word. _Stan? Has a GIRLFRIEND?! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?! And how long ago was this?! I must know! _

Because she was so distracted, she could barely recognize the hamster who walked in right afterwards.

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**A/N****: Oh yeah, THIS should be fun! Don't forget to read and review, peoples! And Flora-haters, you know you want to! (giggles evilly) Sorry this was so short. But stay tuned for chapter 2! Thanks again!  
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**U.Kno.I.Luv.U!  
Crystalgurl101**

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	2. Reactions

I Don't Like Your Girlham!

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**A/N****: Hi, hi! Thanks to all reviewers for their super-sweet reviews! Here's chapter 2 of "I Don't Like Your Girlham!" Brought to you by yours truly! Thanks a bunch guys, stay awesome :) **

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**PS****: I accidentaly changed the name of chapter 1. The real title is "I Don't Like Your Girlham(without the exclamation point)." And don't question me about it, please. I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING! **_**:falls into a random hole:**_

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**--- Previously on "I Don't Like Your Girlham!" ---**

_"Hi guys!" Flora waved politely at the infamous Ham-Ham gang her boyham had been talking about so much._

_The Ham-Hams' jaws all dropped and hung there. Crystal's eyes were ready to pop out of her head. "G...G-Gir-G...G-Girlham?" she and the Ham-Hams all stuttered out. She felt numb at the sound of the word._ Stan? Has a GIRLFRIEND?! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?! And how long ago was this?! I must know!

_Because she was so distracted, she could barely recognize the hamster who walked in right afterwards..._

**(\/)(")(")**

Chapter 2: I Think You Need A New One

_**When I open the door to the Ham-Ham Clubhouse, I usually expect alot of things. Like, I expect Howdy and Dexter to be arguing over the tiniest thing. I expect Boss to be admiring Bijou. I expect everyone to look up at me and say good morning. And I expect my stupid brother to not be there, as usual. **_

_**But today was...different. Instead of seeing a group of happy, relaxed hammies, I saw Stan and his new girlfriend, holding paws in the middle of the room. It was...awkward.**_

_**My name is Sandy, and this is my story.**_

**(\/)(")(")**

**Creeeaaak.**

Sandy opened the Clubhouse door and froze when she saw her friends all gaping at Stan and a mystery girl holding paws. Stan locked eyes with her and suddenly, she could feel her Twin Telepathy making a connection. Although he was holding this girl's paw, this time, it seemed to be different. Almost, as if this wasn't a flirt move. It made Sandy uneasy, for some reason.

"Stan," when Sandy spoke up, the gang all turned and found her standing there. She looked around, slightly embarassed. The girl looked over at her and seemed to light up. "who's your friend?" Stan blushed and felt unease as well when he saw his protective little sister staring at him and Flora's paws. "Sandy...my girlfriend, Flora...Flora, this is Sandy."

Flora suddenly went into excited-peppy-blonde mode. She lit up as she ran over and stared at Sandy in awe. "Ohmygod! Is this your twin sister?!" Sandy tilted backwards when she found the wierd hamgirl examining her. "Either that, or a clone." Crystal blurted out. She quickly realized how rude it sounded when she saw Stan and her friends turn and look at her in shock.

Flora seemed to have not heard her. "Ohmygod! You have Stanny-kins's stripes and everything! This is SO cool! Is this not cool?! How cool is this?!" Flora suddenly grabbed Pashmina by her arm and asked her. "Uhh...yes?" the scarfed hamster cocked an eyebrow. Crystal watched in amazement. _Stanny-kins?! Oh, come ON! Could this girl be any prissier?_

"Wow!" Flora let Pashmina go--who went and hid behind Jingle's mohawk--and held her paw out to the female twin. "It's so great to finally meet you! I'm Flora!" she squealed. Sandy let out a little laugh, shock still overcoming her. "W-Wow...this is gonna be quite the day, isn't it?" she said as she eventually took her brother's girlfriend's paw.

Flora squealed again and hugged Sandy. Sandy sweatdropped. "Oh, I can already tell we're gonna be BFF's forever!" she exclaimed. Crystal rolled her eyes. Sandy laughed nervously. "Right..." She then looked over Flora's shoulder and locked eyes with Stan again. "GIRLFRIEND?!?" she mouthed angrily.

**(\/)(")(")**

"So, umm...ahem...Flora!" Boss cleared his throat. The Ham-Hams were all at the table, sitting in their assigned seats. Flora had accepted to squeeze in a chair in between Stan and Crystal. Everyone couldn't take their eyes off how...different Stan looked now that he was settled and taken. Flora could barely let go of Stan's paw. "Sooo...how did this...relationship happen?"

Crystal and Sandy were glaring the whole time, their arms folded tightly across their chests. "Well, me and Stan met when he got himself that evil, little sprain after some skateboard accident. Luckily, I was nearby and I fixed him right up." Flora replied, smiling from ear-to-ear at Stan. _That lovey-dovey smile of her's looks SO fake._ Crystal thought as she examined Flora.

"That explains why I was gone the first time. But eventually, we just started seeing each other more and more. Before I knew it, I had asked her out for lunch." Stan continued. He seemed very calm about the situation, despite Sandy's secret death looks. "So **you **made the first move?" Crystal asked as calmly as she could. "Yeah." Stan nodded.

"Gee, I find that surprising!" Sandy said sarcastically. Flora looked at her with big blue eyes. "You know, my brother was THEE biggest flirt before you showed up! You should've like, seen him when he first met Bijou and Pashmina." Sandy continued, pointing at the two hamgirls. Stan gave her the panicked "What are you doing?!" look. Sandy ignored him. "Whoo! Can you say hormones, much?"

"And if you thought he was flirty here? You should've seen him on the streets!" Crystal suddenly jumped in. "If I pulled him away by his ears any more, he'd have none!" Sandy smiled brightly at Crystal's comment. "I'm surprised his moves won him a girlfriend." Howdy muttered. The gang began to giggle amongst themselves. "Oh!" Flora covered her mouth. "Well, weren't **you** the bad boy back then!" she teased, playfully pushing him.

"Yeah. Heh heh." Stan laughed nervously. "Sandy. Crys. A moment?" he then asked through a forced smile. Sandy and Crystal exchanged a mutual evil look. "Sure Stan!" they both chirped innocently. They skipped ouf of their seats and waited patiently side-by-side. They high-fived behind their backs. Stan smiled at Flora. "Why don't you make yourself comfortable here while I have a little chat with these two?" he said.

Flora giggled. "Sure baby!" she nodded. She suddenly reached up and pecked Stan on the lips. Crystal and Sandy's mouths hit the floor--literally. Flora giggled again and even blushed a bit. "He's a great kisser, you know!" she said out loud. Stan blushed as eveyone's big, wide eyes landed on him. "U-Uh...beeriback." The tiger-striped twin suddenly grabbed his sister and best friend and ran for the hallway.

No sooner were they out of sight and earshot, then did Stan's face change from modest and shy to seriously PO-ed. Sandy and Crystal's weren't very different. They stood in front of Stan, their paws on their tiny hips. "WHAT was THAT?!" Stan whispered angrily.

Suddenly, Sandy and Crystal both grabbed Stan by each of his orange ears. "GIRLFRIEND?!?" they hissed. "Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow, okayokay, I-I know this is...ow...u-unexpected." Stan flinched. "Unexpected?! This girl comes out of nowhere, basically squealing and giggling over you, and you have the ordasity to tell us **now?!**" Sandy twisted her Stan-ear.

"OW! The ear!" Stan complained. "Not to mention I've been trying to make contact with you this whole time. Didn't you have the balls to call back and tell me then?!" Crystal twisted her Stan-ear as well. "Owwwwww! Look, I know I should've told you both, but I-I couldn't okay? I wanted to surprise you!" he tried to explain.

"Oh, we're surprised!" Sandy glared at him. "Did your little surprise plan work, STANNY-KINS? C'mon, KISS and tell!" Crystal demanded sarcastically. "Okay, we're boyham and girlham. Don'tcha think we at least have the right to kiss?" Stan shot back. "Now c'mon guys! Lemme go! This isn't funny."

Sandy and Crystal looked at each other. With frustrated sighs, they released Stan's ears. Stan was relieved, but his ears unfortunetaly couldn't feel it. He massaged them as his sister and Crystal frowned at him. "Look Stan, we know we mean alot to you, so...why didn't you like, tell us?" Sandy asked, her voice calmer than before.

"I already told you--I wanted to surprise you guys. Besides, Flora wanted to meet you in person anyways." Stan sighed. "Oh! So, Flora wears the pants in this relationship? Interesting!" Crystal sneered. Stan's eyes flickered angrily at her. "Look Crys, Flora's my girlfriend. My first one to be exact. I just don't wanna screw it up. This is kinda...important to me. You know?" The two girls suddenly saw how sincere and honest he was being. His deep blue eyes shone and his faint blush brightened up his cheeks.

Sandy's anger began to fade. Maxwell was her first boyfriend and that was very special for her. Stan had been totally supportive of them the whole time. _It wouldn't be fair if I sabotaged his first real relationship. I mean, I care about Stan alot. And a guy like him deserves to have a girlfriend. Even if it __**is**__ someone like--_

"STANNY-KINS!" Flora appeared from around the corner, hopping up and down like a toddler on sugar rush.

_--her._

"OHMYGOSH, STANNY! Why didn't you tell me your Ham-Hams had an AMUSEMENT PARK?!" Flora exclaimed loudly. Stan smiled at her. "Hey, since you're so into your nurse studies, I figured you wouldn't be too interested in stuff like that. Besides, it was forever ago when we built it." he said. Crystal noted how Flora looked at Stan. A strange lump began to form in her throat.

Boss walked up from behind Flora. "We decided to go show her the park. You guys cool with that?" he asked. "Yeah." the twins nodded. "Sure." Crystal's reply wasn't as enthusiastic. Flora squealed--loudly. "YAY!" she cheered and ran off. Everyone sweatdropped. "We'll get ready, you three finish your little..uhh..conference." Boss told them before disappearing.

Stan sighed and turned back towards Sandy and Crystal. "Sooo...are you guys still mad?" he asked shyly. Sandy smiled slightly. "Nah. How I can be mad when you're all excited about your first Gee Eff!" she said as she hugged Stan. "Congrats by the way, bro! You deserve it."

Stan smiled. "Thanks sis!" He broke the hug and turned to Crystal, who was staring at the floor. She looked up when Stan touched her shoulder. "Crys, Flora may be my girlfriend, but you're still my best friend. You'll **always **be important to me, no matter what. You know that, right?" he said. Crystal forced herself to smile and nodded silently. "And I know I didn't call you back and I'm sorry. I promise, promise, **promise **I'll make it up to you, okay?"

Crystal found it hard to look at him. But she struggled to not let her act fall. "Do you promise?" she asked, her eyes wide and awaiting. Stan nodded, his blue eyes twinkling. "Yup! I'll take you out wherever and whenever you want. And everytime I hit on someone, you can pull my ears as much as want to." he said. Crystal laughed. "I don't think that'll be necessary anymore."

Stan smiled again and hugged her. Crystal felt a wave of happiness wash over her as she hugged him back. "I'm happy for you, bud." she whispered in his ear. "Thanks." he told her. He broke the hug a little sooner than Crystal wanted him to. Crystal smiled, but as soon as Stan turned his back, her smile started to fade. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't lift up the corner of her lips.

"Hang on, I'm gonna make a quick pit-stop to the bathroom." she called out to the twins, who were headed for the living room. "Okay!" Stan nodded. Crystal quickly turned around and ran as fast as she could to the bathroom nearby. She locked the door and pressed her back against the wall.

**(\/)(")(")  
**_**--Crystal's POV--**_

I looked up and saw the snow-white ceiling staring back at me. I wasn't sure why, but for some reason, watching that Stan-and-Flora scene just now had made me lose my breath. I clutched the edges of the sink and gasped as my heart pounded uneasily in my chest. But the more I thought about Flora, the bigger the uneasiness became in my chest.

It felt like a burden that grew with every thought that flashed before my eyes. The paws, the giggles, the kiss, and then...those looks. Those lovey-dovey looks that Flora gave Stan. Just thinking about them made eyes burn. I squeezed them shut. How I wished I could...how I could just, wipe that smile off Flora's face. Yeah. If I had to see that look one more time, I think I would walk right up to her and sock her right in the jaw. That would be nice.

I felt anger bubbling deep down beneath my skin. Something about this girl was just...not getting to me right. When I opened my eyes, I was shocked to find tears blurring my vision. I looked up to see how wet they were in the mirror. My cheeks were a flushed-out red. The burden in my heart pounded into my eardrums.

What's wrong with me? Shouldn't I be happy? I mean, Stan's my best friend. Okay, so this girlham of his was the reason he never called or talked to me. But that didn't mean she did it on purpose. We didn't even know each other. This wasn't her fault. In fact, it was no one's fault. So why the hell was I feeling this way? "What's wrong with me?" I whispered under my breath. The question echoed inside my head over and over. But I couldn't hear an answer...

**SLAP!**

I ended up slapping myself. Suddenly, all the thoughts in my head vanished. I silently thanked myself. I needed that slap. I turned on the water faucet and soaked my face. Because it was so cold, it helped me shake it off.

Maybe it was just anger. Maybe I was still in shock from the fact that Stan actually found a girlham. Yeah, that could be it. In fact, the more I thought about it, the funnier it sounded. I sighed deeply and rinsed my face cold. Then, I shook off the excess water and dried myself with a towel.

_I'll get used to this. I just need time. Yeah, time..._

**(\/)(")(")  
**_**--Normal POV--**_

Bijou's emerald green eyes caught Crystal walking out of the hallway. Her right cheek was slightly pink. She walked over to her and placed a paw on her arm. "Hey Crystal. Are you alright?" she asked, concerned. "Yeah! I'm fine." Crystal nodded quickly. She smiled at Bijou. "Very well zhen. Here eez some breakfast I saved for you." Bijou held up a juicy sunflower seed. "Thanks Bij." Crystal accepted it.

"Okay Hams. Ready?" Boss asked. "YEAH!" the Ham-Hams shouted excitedly back at him. Flora squealed in response. "This is SO exciting! I'm gonna see a REAL hamster-sized amusement park!" she said as she squeezed Stan's arm. "You're gonna love it!" Stan told her.

"Priss..." Crystal found herself muttering. "What was zhat?" Bijou turned around, confused. "Nothing!" Crystal quickly replied.

Outside, Stan noticed the girl Hams ahead of him and Flora. "Hey Flora. How 'bout you go and bond with the girls for a bit!" he suggested. Flora seemed hesitant. "Do you think they'll like me?" she asked. "Of course! They're open to anyone!" Stan reassured her. "O-Okay then!" Flora took a deep breath and skipped ahead towards the girls.

Crystal was busy chatting up a storm with Pashmina and Bijou when Flora suddenly popped out from behind her. "Hi hi!" she chirped. "GAH!" Crystal jumped and hugged Pashmina in shock. "Dude! You scared the crap outta me!" she gasped. Flora frowned. "Uhh...I'm a girl." she looked slightly offended.

"Oh no, Crystal calls everyone a dude." Pashmina told her as Crystal got off her. "_Oui,_ sometimes she evens says eet without knowing eet." Bijou added. Flora giggled. "Well, that's silly. Why would you wanna be called a guy?" she questioned. Crystal raised an eyebrow at her. "If it's in a friendly way, then there's really no problem calling a girl 'dude'." she said.

Flora giggled again. "You Ham-Hams are so silly!" Crystal gave Bijou and Pashmina a "What is she doing here?" look. They gave her a shrug in response. "So! What were you GUYS talking about?" Flora asked. _Is that really her business?_ Crystal thought. "Oh, you know. Girl stuff really." Pashmina decided to be friendly one and answer her.

"Ahh. So...I have a question for you three." Flora pointed at Bijou, Pashmina and Crystal. "Yeah?" Crystal nodded. _I wonder what she wants with us._ "Is it true Stanny was **really **a big flirt before we met?" Flora then asked, as she looked behind her at Stan, who was talking with Hamtaro, Howdy, Panda and Oxnard.

Bijou and Pashmina looked at each other. "Yeah." they replied in unison. "Hey, I wasn't lying to you back at the Clubhouse." Crystal said. "He loved to hit on girls--especially these two." the ponytailed hamgirl pointed at Bijou and Pashmina. "It's true." Pashmina agreed. "I was his first victim." Bijou frowned. "I'm surprised you two suddenly hooked up, especially with that out-of-control attitude of his." Crystal added.

"Interesting.." Flora seemed to be taking this knowledge in. "But because he flirted with Bijou and Pashmina, didn't he flirt with you too?" she asked. Crystal shook her head. "Oh hell no! Stan's not all that bright, but he's smart enough to know that he shouldn't flirt with me." she replied. "Why?" Flora cocked her head. "Cause me and him are best friends. It'd be pretty awkward if he hit on his best friend." Crystal explained.

"These two have known each other since they were little kids!" Pashmina jumped in.

"Zhey are extremely close!" Bijou told her.

"The best of friends!" Pashmina smiled.

"But zhey fight alot." Bijou pointed out.

"Yeah, alot!" Pashmina agreed.

"In fact, not a day goes by zhat zhey don't fight over zee slightest zhing." Bijou said.

"Oh definetaly!" Pashmina nodded.

"Zhey even fight through text message--"

"Okay, she gets it!" Crystal cut them off, blushing. Flora however smiled. "You two must know everything about each other then, huh?" she asked Crystal. "Yeah, I guess." Crystal shrugged. Flora giggled. "Well, it was nice talking to you. Byes!" she waved and skipped off.

Crystal, Bijou and Pashmina watched as she went off to follow Sandy and Maxwell. "She's weird." Crystal muttered. "I wonder why she was asking all zhose questions." Bijou wondered. "Maybe she got uncomfortable with the fact that Stan flirted with alot of girls." Pashmina suggested. "True. In fact, if I were her, I'd still keep an eye on Stan no matter how nice he treated me." Crystal pursed her lips.

They sweatdropped when they saw Sandy trying to walk away from Flora.

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**A/N****: Ooh! Scandalous! ****Don't forget to read and review. Otherwise, I won't be happy. I promise the story'll get better though. **

**U.Kno.I.Luv.U!  
Crystalgurl101 :)**


	3. To Like Or Not To Like

I Don't Like Your Girlham!

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**A/N: Okay, I'm back from my vacay in Virginia--longest half-week EVER! Thank you all SO much for the support! I'm having fun writing this--and I'm having more fun planning the story! _:giggles:_ Anywhos, I hope you enjoy the third chapter. Much love! **

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**. . . Previously on "I Don't Like Your Girlham!" . . .**

_Flora giggled. "Well, it was nice talking to you. Byes!" she waved and skipped off._

_Crystal, Bijou and Pashmina watched as she went off to follow Sandy and Maxwell. "She's weird." Crystal muttered. "I wonder why she was asking all zhose questions." Bijou wondered. "Maybe she got uncomfortable with the fact that Stan flirted with alot of girls." Pashmina suggested. "True. In fact, if I were her, I'd still keep an eye on Stan no matter how nice he treated me." Crystal pursed her lips._

_They sweatdropped when they saw Sandy trying to walk away from Flora._

**(\/)(")(")**

Chapter 3: I Could Be Your Girlham

_**I could tell Sandy and Crystal weren't happy about my new relationship from the second I saw their faces. **_

_**I mean sure, Flora's not exactly my...type. But she's smart, cute and she really seems to like the Ham-Hams. Why not keep her around for a while? Get them to know her first? I'm sure by the time they get to know her the way I do, she'll get along just fine with my friends. Right?**_

_**My name is Stan, and this is my story.**_

**(\/)(")(")  
--**_**Stan's POV**_**--**

From the corner of my eye I saw Flora wave goodbye to the girls and chase after Sandy. Crystal leaned over and whispered something in Pashmina's ear.

I knew Crystal didn't like her. In fact, I had a feeling she wouldn't like her from the second Flora peeked through the Clubhouse door. I wasn't sure if she would **ever **accept her. I mean, sure Flora's a little...hyper. But she's been wanting to meet them ever since we first started dating.

Crys is my best friend and I know exactly what's running through her head when she watches Flora. She's most likely thinking "This girl is ALL wrong for Stan!" But just because she's my best friend doesn't mean she always knows what's best for me. Same goes for Sandy. I know they're just trying to protect and keep me from getting hurt. But I know what I'm doing. I'm not always such a careless goofball. And me and Flora really like each other. Isn't that what should matter?

"Hey. Hey, Stan!" Panda suddenly shoved me, causing me to sway.

"Whoa!" I managed to keep my balance. I glared at Panda, exasperated. "What?!" Panda smirked. "You just got a girlfriend and already you're fantasizing about other women?" he questioned. "Ooooh! Naughty, naughty!" Hamtaro, Oxy and Howdy cooed. They all started laughing. My cheeks turned warm.

"Dude, that is like, so not true!" I complained. "So Stan, tell us. How'd a fella like you score a girl like that?" Howdy nodded towards Flora, who was basically squealing at Sandy and Maxwell; something about double-dating. "Whaddaya mean by 'a girl like that' being with a guy like me?" I rose an eyebrow suspiciously.

"He means, how did a fun loving party-animal like you win over someone like Flora?" Panda asked. "You **did **mention she's studying to be a nurse. That's gotta mean that she's a girl who focuses on the future rather than the present." Hamtaro added. I nodded in understanding. "True. Well, I'm not sure. I guess me and Flora fall in the 'Opposites Attract' category."

The boys and I talked for another couple of minutes before we finally arrived to the amusement park. Boss and Cappy immedietaly started a rock-throwing fight with the boys. I managed to stay away from the sudden pebble frenzy. I wanted to spend some time alone with Flora anyways...

"Hey Stan?" I turned around and saw Hamtaro standing behind me. I smiled. "Hey Red."

"Umm, can I talk to you for a second?"

**(\/)(")(")  
--**_**Hamtaro's POV**_**--**

"Sure." Stan shrugged casually. I nodded and led him behind the ferris wheel. Bijou and Pashmina passed us along the way. Bijou smiled and waved at me. I couldn't help but wave back.

When we arrived, I turned to him and sighed. Stan cocked his head. "Hey, is something the matter?" he told me. He seemed to have noticed that I had one of those rare serious looks on my face. "Stan...remember that thing you told me a while ago? That...private, crucial secret thing?" I asked, expecting him to know exactly what I was talking about.

"That Hilary accidentaly mistook me for Sandy when we were little kids and dressed me up as a girl for a week?" Stan said.

"No." I shook my head. "The other thing."

"You about the time I snuck to that nightclub and almost got arrested for that littl--?"

"No."

"How chihuahuas have freakishly large ears--?"

"NO!"

"Then what the heck are you talking about?" Stan looked a little impatient and confused. "I'm talking about how you told me a while ago you might've had your eyes on a certain Ham-Ham girl, but then you suddenly show up with someone completely different. That's what I'm talking about!" I blurted out.

Stan turned a light shade of red. I was too busy rolling my eyes at first to notice. "Sheesh! Some hams can be so slow sometimes!" I muttered. Stan looked behind him and saw Crystal and Sandy buying some roasted walnuts nearby. I caught him and sighed again. "Are you over her?" I found the words coming out of my mouth.

Stan turned his head at me. I gave him my curious look. "Well...I didn't **exactly **have a full-blown crush on her. I mean, we're best friends, and we've been that way ever since we were four (ham) years old. Maybe I was just confusing my feelings for deep, like...really deep friendship." he replied. "Sooo...you're saying you never liked-her liked-her?" I asked.

"I don't think so." Stan replied. "I mean, she's cute and all, I'm not afraid to admit that, but wouldn't it be kinda awkward if me and Crystal started dating?"

"Uhh...not really." I couldn't help but disagree. "Actually, we think you two would make a good couple." Stan suddenly looked up. "Who's we?" it was his turn to look confused. "Me and the Ham-Hams, of course. Who else?" I said is if I were telling him something as obvious as the color green.

"You think me and Crys would...click?" Stan asked me. "Sure, I guess. I mean, you two are really close and stuff." I told him with another shrug. Stan stared at me for a moment. Then, he turned around to look at Crystal not too far away. Then he looked at his paws. "You guys think me..." he held up a pointer finger. "and Crys..." he then held up the other pointer. "...would...click." Stan held up both fingers next to each other. He glanced up at me. "Are you sure ya'll know what you're saying?"

I let out a small laugh. "Don't worry about what we think. All I wanna know is if you're happy with this girl?" I said. Stan smiled. "Well, sure. I mean, at first I wasn't sure what I felt about Crystal. But when Flora showed up and we immedietaly got along, all that just...vanished. Now, I'm sure of what I want and how I feel. Me and Crystal are just friends. And right now, I couldn't be happier with that."

I smiled and nodded. "Okay."

**(\/)(")(")  
--**_**Normal POV**_**--**

"HI HI!"

"GAH!" Hamtaro jumped and held his chest. Flora was standing behind him, grinning from ear-to-ear. Stan looked a little surprised as well. "Oh God, you scared the crap outta me!" Hamtaro took a couple of deep breaths before his face returned to it's normal color.

Flora giggled innocently. "Sorry Hamtaro! But I was so worried about Stanny-kins and when I found him here, I was just so relieved!" the giggly hamgirl suddenly hopped into Stan's arms. Stan sweatdropped when he found himself carrying her. "SO! What were you two talking about?"

Stan and Hamtaro's eyes became dots. "Uhhhhhh..." Stan was about to say "nothing," when Hamtaro decided to butt in. "eBay!" he blurted out and ran off. Flora blinked in confusion, while Stan slapped his forehead. "What bay?" Flora looked at her boyfriend.

"Ignore him." Stan sighed as he put Flora down. "So, are you gonna take me on some rides, or are you gonna buy me stuff first?" Flora asked with a huge smile on her face. Stan smirked, as he took her paw and led her towards the park. "As a very good friend of mine once sung, Ladies' Choice!"

**(\/)(")(")**

Crystal and Sandy were enjoying some roasted walnuts, when they saw Stan and Flora walking from behind the Ferris Wheel, paw-in-paw. They were grinning from ear-to-ear, as if they had done something very, very...uhh...(which they in reality, didn't do)

Sandy and Crystal almost immedietaly spat out their walnuts when the thought hit them both. "Those little nasties!" Crystal exclaimed. "Hold this!" Sandy handed Crystal the rest of her snack. "I'm gonna take my son-of-a-bitch brother and drag him to his special Happy Box place-thing!"

Crystal quickly held her back. "Sands, I would love to watch you harass Stan to a level of utter insanity...but I don't think we're allowed to do that anymore." she said. "What! Why?!" Sandy sounded disappointed. "Cause...they're dating. And I think people who date have the right to be naughty little nasties all they want." Crystal replied with a slight hint of disgust in her face. "Aww, that's right." Sandy pouted as she snatched her walnut and threw it out. Crystal, after looking at her own roasted treat for a moment, finally did the same.

"I swear, that girl just doesn't hit me right."

"Really?"

Suddenly, Sandy's eyes widened when she saw Crystal staring at her. "Gah! Nononononono, that's not the way I meant it!" Sandy knew she had to be happy for her brother. Hell, she even told Stan that she was. And she couldn't let anyone know she was lying about it. _God, I feel like such a hypocrite!_ "O-Okay, Crys. I know that sounded mean, so pleasepleaseplease don't tell Stan I said that!"

"Why would I? Hell, I feel the same way!" Crystal smiled. A wave of relief washed over Sandy. "Really?" she asked. "Yeah! I mean, I know it sounds...hypocritical, but I just don't think Flora makes the right match for Stan. For example, you and Maxy." Crystal told her. "You two balance each other out. But Flora and Stan...I see no balance."

"Exactly!" Sandy agreed. "I mean, I love my brother and all, but I want what's best for him. And Flora's just...I-I mean, look at her!"

Sandy and Crystal turned around to find Flora laughing and squealing as she chased Stan around in the bumper cars. Stan seemed a little freaked-out when his seatbelt suddenly snapped after Flora's last bump. "Uhhh, Flora?"

Too late!

Flora crashed once again into Stan. Only this time, he went flying out of the bumper car tent and into the ferris wheel! "HEY! What are you doing here?!" they heard a girl in the passenger gondola/car thing scream. "Perv!" another one kicked Stan out, and left him screaming and dangling to the car for his life, just as the ferris wheel was reaching the top level! Flora ran out of the bumper car tent and screamed. "STANNY! SOMEONE CALL THE FIREFIGHTERS!"

"You see?!" Sandy squealed. "I know!" Crystal nodded, both girls not even paying attention to the sudden sirens and megaphones behind them.

**"WILL ALL HAMSTERS WITHIN 10 FEET OF THE FERRIS WHEEL PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM THE RIDE. AND WILL SOMEONE STOP THE FERRIS WHEEL BEFORE THE KID FALLS?!"**

Flora slapped the announcer. "DON'T SAY SUCH THINGS!" she sobbed.

Nearby, hamsters began to scream and point at the tiger-striped hamster dangling above them. Others just began to randomly run around at the sound of the sirens. "CODE PURPLE! CODE-FREAKIN'-PURPLE!" Hamtaro screamed into a walkie-talkie as he turned on the emergency red lights. Boss, on the other side of the park, suddenly panicked. "ABORT! ABORT! SOMEONE CALL SETH AND ONE OF YOU GUYS GET A LADDER!" he replied in his walkie-talkie.

"She is clearly not a right match for Stan! I still don't know why he even chose her." Sandy said. "And, I don't wanna sound bitchy, but she's not even that pretty-looking." Crystal added. "Right? I mean, the barette's cute, but what's with the hat?" Sandy asked. "Uhh, I think it's something about her nurse-studies. She must be really dedicated to her future." Crystal told her. "Well, if she's so busy preparing for her future, why would she date someone at this time?" Sandy questioned.

Panda and Howdy passed them carrying a giant purple ladder. "WE GOT THE LADDER, SIR!" they cried.

"And you saw how innocent and polite she was acting back at the clubhouse? I swear, that's not normal!" Crystal bit her lower lip. "Well...**you** were polite and innocent when you first met us." Sandy cocked her head. "Yeah, but I wasn't draped all over your brother and boasting to the public about how good of a kisser he is--not that I would know of course." Crystal retorted.

"That was kinda disturbing to look at, to be honest." Sandy scrunched up her nose. "I never thought someone would coo over Stan like he was some kind of...hunk!" Crystal nodded. "Yeah, it's hard to imagine Stan as someone sexy." she said.

Sandy blinked. "I was talking about me. But are you sure **you've **never thought of Stan like that?" she smirked. "What are you talking about?" Crystal asked, trying her best to sound confused.

A yellow helicoptor suddenly flew over them, the purple ladder attached to the door. "ATTENTION STAN THE HAM-HAM!" a guy with a megaphone yelled. "PLEASE REMAIN CALM AND HOLD ON FOR ANOTHER MOMENT. THE RESCUERS ARE ON THEIR WAY!"

"Well, make it quick! I think I just pee'd on myself!" Stan shouted. The girls in the passenger car who kicked him out screamed and began to panic.

"Oh, come on! You've NEVER thought Stan looked hot in something or in a certain incident?" Sandy asked curiously. Crystal started to blush. "WHAT?! Gross, why would I think something like that?" she exclaimed. "Not once? Not even when you first saw him at your reunion party?" Sandy persisted. "C'mon, Crys. I know you once thought about it!" The young gymnast watched her friend start to squirm.

"STANNY! HANG ON, HONEY! THE RESCUER'S ON HIS WAY!" Flora screamed. The Ham-Hams were all behind her as well as the rest of the park. Stan looked up to find a guy in a yellow suit on the edge of the ladder. "Take my paw, son!" he yelled. Stan reached out and the rescuer grabbed his arm firmly. They began to rise, and Stan felt his body be lifted from the ferris wheel.

The crowd below began to cheer and applause as Stan grabbed tightly to the ladder. Flora started to cry tears of joy. "OH, THANK YOU! THANK YOU GOD!" she sobbed. Stan looked down to see his friends and girlfriend staring up at him in relief. Then, he saw just how high he was. He turned pale. "Uhh...y-you're gonna make sure I don't fall, right?" Stan asked the rescuer nervously as he grabbed onto the ladder.

"U-Umm..." Crystal, a few stories below felt her cheeks start to burn. "Oooooooh, so you **do** think Stan's cute!" Sandy cooed when she saw Crystal blush. "Well, you two have good genes, of course he's...well, h-he's easy on the eyes." Crystal muttered, flustered. "So he IS cute!" Sandy poked Crystal's arm. "Okay! So, he's **kinda** cute." Crystal shrugged. "It doesn't mean much, right?"

"Of course! As long as you hold on to that ladder, then nothing'll happen to you." the rescuer reassured Stan. As if on queue, the ladder began to rise towards the helicoptor doors. "See, we're already being pulled up. We'll be fine." Stan nodded in agreement, hoping to God he was right.

"Crystal, ever since you and Stan started hanging out again, I couldn't help but notice something about the way you two acted around each other." Sandy tapped her cheek. "W..wwwhaddaya' mean?" Crystal rose an eyebrow.

"When you two are together, you seem to just...click. I mean, you know him so well, and vice versa, in contrast to Flora who only seems to know his name and his kissing techniques. And not to mention, you both seemed to have been dropping signs about a mutual, but rather deeply personal affection towards one another--at least until Flora showed up. Then that's when the negative feelings begin and you begin to question your actual feelings for Stan and the reason for why you're so against the idea of Stan having a girl."

"..." Now Crystal was really confused. "Okay, lemme put this in a way even you can understand." Sandy pursed her lips. "Are you digging my brother?"

The rescuer was able to climb up what was left of the ladder and aboard the helicoptor. He looked down and reached out his paw. "Stan, climb up the ladder and grab my paw!" he told him. "Okay." Stan nodded. He was about to start climbing, when he heard something start to rip. He looked to his left and saw the seams of the rope ladder start to come apart.

"Oh no..."

"WHAT?!" Crystal yelped, her eyes round. "Okay, now you're just talking crazy, Sandy. You have officially gone senile!" she declared, ready to walk away. "Nononono, you are not leaving without an answer. Now come on! Do you like him or not?" Sandy grabbed her arm. "It's a simple yes or no question."

"No! That was a simple answer to a simple question." Crystal folded her arms across her chest. "Ahh, your lips say no, but your eyes speak in another direction." Sandy spoke in a wise-guy voice. "What? Wait, are you telling me you think I **like** your brother?" Crystal asked. "Say iiit!" Sandy smirked evilly. "No!" Crystal refused. "So, you refuse to admit it!" Sandy rose her eyebrows. "NO! Cause there's nothing to admit!" Crystal told her firmly.

"Something wrong?" the rescuer asked. "Uhh...we have a problem." Stan said, nodding towards the rope ladder. Suddenly, the ladder began to rip again. This time, Stan felt a jolt downwards. His heart leaped.

Flora, Hamtaro, Bijou and the rest of the crowd gasped when they saw the ladder suddenly start to rip apart. "STAN, THE LADDER!" the Ham-Hams screamed in unison. "WATCH OUT!" Flora yelled up at her boyham.

But it was a little too late for the tiger-striped victim. Before he could even move, the left side of the ladder collapsed. The crowd below screamed as Stan dangled from one paw. He looked down and turned pale. "Oh God...ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod, OH MY GOD SOMEONE HELP ME!" he screamed. "STAN!" Flora panicked.

"Ohmygod, he's gonna fall!" Pashmina cried out, complete horror in her eyes. "Okyoo!" Penelope had tears in her eyes. "Shield you eyes, children!" Jingle covered Penelope and Cappy's eyes, who quickly held onto him, while his stayed glued to his best guyfriend.

"QUICK! Put us over a tent!" the rescuer yelled at the pilot. He did as he was told, which was lucky for Stan. Because about a second later, Stan's paw started losing grip. "Oh hell no!" Stan yelled, ready to spazz out. Suddenly the ladder let him go, and Stan was falling like a stone.

The crowd screamed along with Stan, Flora being the loudest.

Crystal turned around. "Man, those guys are going crazy. I wonder which ride it is they're cheering for." she wondered. "Probably just the roller coaster. Now, quit procrastinating and denying the truth: You like Stan **and** you were jealous of Flora from the second she stepped in that clubhouse." Sandy told her. Crystal was taken aback. "What! Do not **and** am not!" she fought back. "Prove it!" Sandy folded her arms across her chest.

Crystal opened her mouth to speak when she heard a thump and someone screaming. She looked at the tent they were under and saw a form sliding down from above. Sandy saw it too. "What the hell...?" she muttered. They stepped back to see who it was. And what wonders, it was...

"OOF!"

Stan went sliding down a bright red tent and landed on top of, who he found out a second later, was Crystal. She was looking up at him from her position underneath him. She blinked curiously as Stan turned a bright shade of pink. He could see his sister was staring in disbelief at them, her paws over her mouth. The crowd were also gaping in shock, Flora and the Ham-Hams probably the most amazed.

"Stan..." Crystal said. "...why did you just fall from the sky?"

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**A/N****: And thus ending another chapter! Sorry this took so long, I ran into some writer's block in some parts of the chapter. **

**Anywho, before I can wrap this up--and quickly move on to the next chapter--I just wanna let ya'll know something awesome I got in my email. On August 27th at about 12:30 am, a whole bunch of scientifical stuff is gonna happen in outer space and Mars is apparently gonna be the brightest planet in the sky, and we're gonna be able to actually **see** it. So, it'll look like Earth has two moons--and it'll be visible to the naked eye! And I gotta warn you: the next time this is gonna happen is in 2287!!! So, if anyone wants to see the Moon's evil twin, then look up at the sky on August 27th around 12:30 am. (Sleepover, anyone??) And tell your family and friends, because none of us will be alive the next time this happens! ****THIS ****IS ****BIG!!!**

**Also, I'm starting on the production of a little story called... "****Mean Girls****." (Ring a bell?) And when I was making up the cast list, I realized "Seventeen Ham-Hams--and Crystal and Nikki--aren't gonna be enough!" So, if anyone is interested in lending me their OC's for "****Mean Girls****" then feel free to come to me. All that's left really are smallish roles, but I'll be sure they come back again and again! **

**Also, for anyone who saw/knows the movie, assistance would be awesome! Me and my sister--she's the one who convinced me to write the story and is helping me with it--need all the help we can get for this one.**

**Alright, that's pretty much all I have to say. Sorry for the long Authoress' Note. Review nicely and I'll do the same. Thanks again for making this so much fun to write! You guys are the best!**

**Toodles!**

**Crystalgurl101 :)**


	4. A Deal With The Devil

I Don't Like Your Girlham!

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**A/N****: Yay! Thanks for all the sweet reviews, you guys! And thanks for waiting for chapter 4. Well, there's not much left to say except thank you and enjoy! **

**PS****: I have no PS...MADE YA' LOOK :**_**giggles and runs off:**_

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**Previously on "I Don't Like Your Girlham!"**

_Crystal opened her mouth to speak when she heard a thump and someone screaming. She looked at the tent they were under and saw a form sliding down from above. Sandy saw it too. "What the hell...?" she muttered. They stepped back to see who it was. And what wonders, it was..._

_"OOF!"_

_Stan went sliding down a bright red tent and landed on top of, who he found out a second later, was Crystal. She was looking up at him from her position underneath him. She blinked curiously as Stan turned a bright shade of pink. He could see his sister was staring in disbelief at them, her paws over her mouth. The crowd were also gaping in shock, Flora and the Ham-Hams probably the most amazed._

_"Stan..." Crystal said. "...why did you just fall from the sky?"_

**(\/)(")(")**

Chapter 4: A Deal With The Devil

"For the last time, Flora I'm fine!" Stan squirmed as Flora began to squeeze certain areas around his arm. "So, you're saying this doesn't hurt?" Flora asked as she squeezed Stan's elbow. "No! Really babe, I'm okay." Stan tried to reassure her by smiling. "Nothing hurts."

"Okay, how about this?" Flora said, before she slapped Stan across the face.

"OW!" Stan complained and held his cheek. "When you take a fall like that, honey, there will **always **be an injury!" Flora scolded. "Trust me, I know. I'm a nurse-in-training! Now, give me your other arm."

Flora, Stan and the rest of the Ham-Ham gang had taken an early emergency exit from the fun park and had returned to the clubhouse after the Stan incident. The Ham-Hams watched from the hallway as Flora continued to check Stan for any injuries or sprains in the bathroom. The tiger-striped male felt that the check-up was extremely unnecessary, but his girlfriend couldn't disagree more.

"Do you really think Stan's hurt?" Hamtaro whispered to Bijou. She shook her head, her white pigtails swaying. "Zhere really eez no telling. I mean, he **did **land pretty hard." she replied, a frown on her face. She suddenly felt a sharp nudge against her ribcage and winced. She turned to see Crystal glaring icily at her. Bijou immedietaly clamped her mouth shut in regret.

"I highly doubt it, Flora's just being overprotective." Sandy commented as she checked out Flora examining Stan's ears for flexibility. "I mean, do you really think he'd be hurt if he had landed so safely like that?"

"Yeah, thanks Sandy." Crystal called out sarcastically.

Flora just then came out, Stan right behind her. He was running his paw through his ear, checking for anything Flora could've done to them. "Well, he's fine! Thank goodness nothing happened to him, especially from a fall that high!" she smiled at them. The gang smiled politely back, except Crystal, who snuck behind when no one was looking.

Instead she sat down on the table and began to nibble on a biscuit angrily. _Hmph! Stupid know-it-all. Gee, I wonder what she did, kiss away his boo-boo's? _

"Crystal?"

"Hm?" Crystal opened her eyes and turned around to find Flora standing behind her. She smiled sweetly at her. "Don't think I forgot about you too, Crystal! After all, that was one nasty fall Stan took on you." she said.

Crystal noticed the room was staring at her and forced herself to smile back. "Thanks. But I'm fine." she said and turned away. She felt relieved that somebody had noticed that Stan wasn't the only one involved in the fall. But at the same time, she wasn't so happy that that person had to be Flora. Crystal knew that what she had just done was rude, but right now she didn't feel like talking to anybody.

Suddenly, someone sat on the seat next to her. She looked up to see Stan. Crystal said nothing. "Listen Crys," he said as he reached over and squeezed her arm. "I'm sorry about what happened. I really hope I didn't hurt you."

Crystal smiled at him in response. She looked into those blue eyes and immedietaly recognized the best friend that was staring back at her. "It's okay. Really, I'm fine." Crystal reassured him. She felt a warmth wrap around her with Stan's paw on her arm. That same, familiar feeling she got when she was around him seemed to be coming back.

"Are you sure? Because I can gladly take you to the bathroom for a quick check-up." Flora just then came in between Stan and Crystal. She had a concerned smile on as she sat on Stan's lap. Both Stan and Crystal looked slightly taken aback. Stan caught the Ham-Hams staring at him and began to blush. Crystal couldn't stop staring at Flora. For a second, she looked like she wanted to slap her.

"No, I'm really okay..." Crystal stared at their position and got a sick feeling in her stomach.

"Oh, well that's such good news!" Flora sighed and suddenly grabbed a hold of Crystal's paws as if they were best friends. "Cause us girlfriends wouldn't want anything bad to happen to our boyfriend's good friends. Wouldn't you agree?" Flora added a "tee-hee" to the end of her question.

"..." Crystal looked down at their paws, then up at Flora and down again to their paws.

"...Need some air."

**(\/)(")(")**

"See?! I told you she likes him!"

Crystal's head jerked suddenly and she looked down at Sandy. Her eyes shrunk into an icy glare. Even from her seat on a tall tree branch, she could still see the annoyng little know-it-all smirk on Sandy's tiger-striped face. Standing next to her was Jingle. He was looking up curiously at Crystal.

The ponytailed Ham-Ham hopped down from the tree and stood facing both hamsters. "What now, Sandy?" she sighed, exasperated. She had earlier been relaxing on the tree branch, looking out at the town when Sandy had completely ruined the moment. It was now near sunset and it time by now to head home, but young Sandy couldn't call it a day **just **yet.

"Well, Crys? Aren't you gonna let Jingle here know the truth?" Sandy smirked, nudging the musician-ham next to her.

Crystal folded her paws across her chest. "What truth?" she asked, her eyebrow cocked upwards.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Sandy rolled her eyes. "CRYSTAL. LIKEY. STAN!" The tiger-striped ham-girl ignored Crystal's jaw-drop and whirled towards Jingle. "Get it?!"

"Okayokayokay, I got that part. But do you really think Stan's **best friend **would fall for him?" Jingle asked, doubt in his voice.

"THANK YOU--!" Crystal was interrupted by Sandy's paw to her face. "Butt out, Peaches. We'll deal with you in a sec." she murmured. "So you're like, telling me that you don't believe me?"

"I'm not saying that I believe you, but don't you think we should walk in **her **shoes for a moment here?" Jingle asked, nodding towards Crystal. "I mean, she still needs to adjust to this..new girlham thing. Even **I'm **still letting it sink in. I mean, Stan's a one-lady's man. **Stan**, of all people!"

"But have you wondered if Crystal could ever like Stan?" Sandy asked. "Oh yeah, plenty of times!" Jingle chuckled as if it were obvious.

"WHAT?!" Crystal stepped in between them and slapped Jingle on the arm. "Ow!" he yelled. "Don't let Sandy poison your mind with such ridiculous atrocities! What would she know? **She's **a valley girl!" Crystal sneered and glared at Sandy as she said the last sentence.

Sandy gasped dramatically. "Oh no you di-idn't!" she snapped her head back and forth.

"Oh yes i di-id!" Crystal shot back, her paws on her hips.

"Girls!" Jingle stepped in between Sandy and Crystal. He held his arms pressed in front of each girl. "Ladies, ladies, keep the peace! Now, I'm not saying that Crystal isn't jealous--"

He got another smack from Crystal.

"--but I'm not saying that she likes him either."

He got a smack from Sandy. "Then what **do **you believe?!" Sandy demanded.

"That I should butt out!" Jingle cried. He held his sore arms. "Why did you even get me involved? Why not Hamtaro? He's better at this love-triangle crap!"

"I AM NOT IN A LOVE TRIANGLE!" Crystal exploded, anime flames in her eyes. "I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT YOU!" Jingle screamed back desperately, before he got his mohawk shaved off from a fit of PMS hormones.

"Because, you're Stan's best guyfriend! You HAVE TO get involved!" Sandy explained briefly, grabbing onto Jingle's arm. "Jingle, this girl is NOT right for Stanley! **She **is!" Sandy pointed at Crystal.

"I am not!" Crystal cried back. "Me falling in love with Stan, is like..Jingle falling in love with Stan!"

"Umm, eww?!" Jingle said in a valley-girl voice as he scrunched up his nose.

"Okay, but can you agree with me that Flora is not right for Stan?" Sandy asked.

"Of course I can!" Crystal replied. "But what can we do about it? Stan really likes this girl!"

"And how the hell would you know this?" Sandy questioned.

"BECAUSE I SEE IT!" Crystal blurted out. She could feel her heart pounding from all of the adrenaline. "I can see it in his eyes. The way she looks at him and the way he looks right back at her. The way they hold paws. Their body language. And frankly, all that stuff is something that I don't see between me and him." Crystal paused for a quick breather. Sandy and Jingle were silent. "What is it that makes you think me and Stan would be good for each other anyways? The idea is just...completely ridiculous."

"Well, you may not see it, but..we do." Jingle shrugged. Crystal looked up at him questioningly. "At least, we **did**."

"You and Stan kinda had this...thing." Sandy said. "Until Flower--"

"Flora." Jingle corrected.

"--whatever." Sandy scoffed. "Until that girl came in the picture. Now it all seems to be screwed over."

"Well, you're lucky she's in the picture now. Because I have absolutely **no **romantic feelings for your brother!" Crystal told her.

"Me too." Jingle joked.

"Well, I still don't like that Rose girl."

"Flora." Crystal jumped in.

"What-**ever!**" Sandy snapped. "She's all wrong for Stan!"

"You're just saying that because you're his sister." Jingle sighed. "He's right." Crystal agreed. "I mean, I'm just as extremely protective of Stan--_to the point where it's violent_--as you are. But I still don't see a reason to try to get rid of her."

**(\/)(")(")**

"Yoo-hoo!" Crystal turned around. Her heart almost stopped when she found Flora staring at her in the face. "Hi Crystal!"

Crystal sweatdropped. "O-Oh! Hi!" she gave her a nervous smile. It had been three days after the Sandy-Crystal-Jingle face-off and the Ham-Hams were all hanging out at the playground. It was a bright and sunny Saturday afternoon, and all of the humans were out having fun, giving the Hams the opportunity to relax out in the fresh air.

Flora smiled brightly at Crystal. "Hey, do you have a minute? I need a woman-to-woman moment." she asked. Crystal glanced at Stan, whom she was flying kites with, rather nervously. Stan smiled. "Go ahead, Crys. I'll watch your kite." he said reassuringly.

"Eh..." Crystal sweatdropped. For some strange reason, talking to her best guyfriend's girlfriend made her rather uncomfortable. Besides, her and Stan were kind of busy. Finally, she turned towards Flora and faked a smile. "Sure, w-why not!"

"GOODIE!" Flora squealed and grabbed Crystal's arm. Crystal yelped as her kite's string lost contact with her paw. Stan quickly caught it before it went flying. "This won't take long, Stanny!" the nurse hamster winked at Stan. He smiled and waved back.

Flora, who clung to Crystal's arm began to skip across the grass, passing the others along the way. Crystal could see the Ham-Hams staring at them. The little brown hamster knew that they knew that she wasn't very comfortable, better yet, polite to Flora, and seeing them skipping together at the park was a bit farfetched. After all, Crystal had been distancing herself from Flora for the past three days, which didn't exactly make them "friends".

"There. That should be far enough." Flora sighed. She continued to give Crystal that perky, abnormally sweet smile. It almost scared her. She let go of Crystal and began to walk like a normal person. "Sooooo! Crystal...?"

Crystal cleared her throat. "Flora." she spoke quietly.

"I have a question for you." the little white hamster began to rock back and forth nervously.

"If it's about how to spell Stan's name on tree bark, then just sound it out." Crystal smirked.

Flora burst into a fit of giggles. "You're SO funny!" she squealed, not getting the joke. Crystal sweatdropped as she faked a smile. "But no, it's not that." she took a deep breath. "Gee, this is so hard to say, but...as Stan's girlfriend, I think I have every right to tell you this."

"Tell me what?" Crystal crossed her arms across her chest. A hint of suspicion sparked in her eyes.

"You see...I've been noticing alot of...chemistry between you and Stan." Flora said. "Of course there's chemistry!" Crystal shrugged nonchalantly. "We're like best friends."

Flora nodded. "Yes, but...I-I want that to stop."

Crystal blinked.

"As in stop. Completely." Flora looked up. She looked straight into Crystal's eyes. They looked darker than they usually did. "I don't want you hanging out with him anymore."

"What?!" Crystal's eyes widened.

"Crystal, you need to understand something." Flora spoke as she began to circle Crystal. "When I'm with a guy, then I am his number one girl. I like to feel appreciated and loved by my man. I want no threats, no extras or any 'best galpals' around. I've been cheated on before thanks to a little 'friend' and I refuse to let it happen again."

Flora stopped in front of Crystal, her arms crossed. She looked like a Nazi general sending out directions to her troops. Crystal felt numb, her eyes never leaving Flora's. With that darkness in her eyes, the nurse-ham looked so completely different. She wasn't the peppy, overly-hyper cheerleader-like girl the Ham-Hams saw. She was a conniving, disguised, in-control--and extremely gutsy creature.

"But in Stanny-kin's case, you're a distraction. Do you know how much he talks about you? That's a bad sign. He's supposed to be all about me. I can't get hurt again. Not by distractions like you. But letting him go won't be an option. So, if maintaining my relationship means getting rid of those closest to him, then so be it."

Crystal iced over. Her paws clenched into fists. "So, you basically want me to drop all communications with your precious boyfriend?"

"Crystal, I'm trying to be as nice and as civilized as possible with this situation." Flora practically pleaded as she clasped her paws together. She looked like the devil in disguise.

"HA!" Crystal threw her head back. "I think the 'Nice Train' set off a loooooooong time ago with this one."

Flora smiled. "I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that. Now, I understand you're a little thrown off, but understand that this is for our own good. I don't want you involved in anything Stan may accuse you of, and I don't want to feel like he has to hide anything from me."

"Flora, you got it all wrong!" Crystal took a step forward, which made Flora hesitate. "Stan is my **best friend**, and we would never ever, uh...well...do whatever it is your sick mind is convincing you to think what we're doing!"

"Excuse me for the inappropriate language, but best friends don't pounce on each other's bodies like wild animals on heat!" Flora told her.

"What happened yesterday at the park was called flag football, Flo-RUH!" Crystal defended herself. "And maybe if you knew a little more about Stan, then you would know that he'd never cheat on you! He really really cares about you! Not all guys are total asswipes, you know!"

"Well, either way, it's gonna stop!" Flora declared in a louder voice. "Stan is my boyham, not you. So, don't boss him around like you own him or something. Just stay away from him!"

"And what if I don't? What are you gonna do, needle me to death with the shot for chicken pox?" Crystal smirked. She knew she had pushed the line, but nobody knew more about pushing limits than Flora.

The nurse ham dropped her jaw as she gasped dramatically. "The chicken pox is a serious human illness! It is not to be toyed with, why it could wipe us all out if we weren't immune to it!" Crystal rolled her eyes, this girl was absolutely no threat to her. "However..." Flora added a moment later. "..if you're looking for a challenge, then don't put your shotgun down just yet. I have my ways. Just don't butt in, or else."

With that said, Flora took a step back. "Toodles, hun!" she suddenly waved. She was back to being that pesky, hyper little worm that Stan had met. Flora skipped off, leaving Crystal with a steaming forehead.

"_'Toodles, hun'_!" Crystal imitated her. She then picked up an acorn on the floor. "Toodle this, bitch!" Crystal threw the acorn in Flora's direction. Of course it missed, but it was expected.

Growling, Crystal began pacing the floor. "Oh, this is brilliant, Stan's dating a monster in a hot nurse-ham form."

"I know, I can't believe her!"

"GAH!" The brown and white hamster jumped and whirled around to see someone coming out of the bushes behind her. She immediately recognized the Ham-Ham. "What the hell are you doing here?!" Crystal glared.

**

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**A/N: HA HA! Finally, I'm done! And, I left you all in a cliffhanger. Sucks for you, byotches!_ :cue evil laughter:_** **Sorry for the absense, I took a little break. Junior year is REALLY stressful! o-o Anywho, thanks for being so patient. Anyone who knows me well knows that I take my own time with my fics.**

**Review nicely, cause I always do the same for you! **

**Jeff Hardy fan for Life! **

**Crystalgurl101 :)**


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